Me Talk Pretty One Day

Always late to the pop-culture party, I'm probably the last person on earth to pay any member of the Sedaris family any sort of attention. I vaguely remember the hoopla surrounding David Sedaris' latest release, Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls, but mainly just that all of my bookish friends were creaming themselves over it. Having had his Me Talk Pretty One Day taking up residence on my bookshelf (thus satisfying the criteria for Reading What Is Already On My Shelf), I thought it was high-time I see what all of the fuss was about. Turns out, not much.

What is described as a witty, sarcastic, artful re-telling of his weird adolescence is actually nothing more than Chelsea Handler with a smaller penis. But unlike Handler who seems to soften with age, Sedaris only hardens and becomes more bitter, and rapidly becomes the guy at the party you talk about later as, "Man, he was a real asshole."

Playing off the theme of his speech impediment - something that could have taken one good, lengthy chapter to cover, as opposed to the multi-chapter ramble he subjected us to -  we're taken on a bumpy ride through his self-described crappy life. Or maybe that's just his super-cheerful tone. *raises one eyebrow*

By the time he's found a partner who can stand him for longer than five minutes and followed him to France, Sedaris has become that friend we only talk to sporadically because they Debbie-Downer every situation. Against my honor as an avid book-reader, I actually skipped pages. (You're never going to learn French well enough, and the food in New York City is way too pretentious, I GET IT!)

To be fair, there were some parts - mostly in the beginning - where I found myself relating and even laughing out loud. I suppose that is what makes him even remotely appealing, as we often feel like our own lives are complete crap. But we generally don't feel that way 100% of the time, so having a book that contains 100% bitterness and negativity is discouraging.  While this book is in no way a reflection of his every day life, it can make you wonder: did this guy ever have an enjoyable moment that wasn't tinged with cynicism?

Regardless of your level of enjoyment as you read this (because everyone else seems to love these Sedaris people so much, I won't even waste word space and typing energy to tell you to skip this particular read), it's a quick read that won't take up too much room in your tote (though, it's not particularly worth hauling around).

I'll most likely read another of Sedaris' books if I ever find myself trapped on a deserted island and stumble upon it. When it comes to being bitter, having wonky childhoods and growing-up years, and indulging in negative reactions, we all can write our own essay-novels. Sedaris acts like he owns the market when, really, he's only perfected the art of whining.

The Bean Trees

Given my new reading goal of Reading What is Already on My Shelf, I haven't put much offer as of late into my local book club's latest picks. Also, I might have a tiny bug up my butt that no one read my pick. But then my crack dealer book supplier lent it to me, it was a short read, so I figured, what the heck and read Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees.

I'm glad it was a relatively short read because it definitely wasn't worth the detour from my bookshelf. A story about a young girl who feels she should be congratulated for escaping her hometown without getting pregnant, The Bean Trees is one of very little substance. Aside from suddenly being saddled with an abused Native American toddler in the beginning of her journey west from Kentucky, and the very last 45 pages of the book, absolutely nothing happened besides a lot of reminiscing over the past, how everyone has baggage, and how everyone carries it differently. The human condition, if you will.

Faced with sudden motherhood, Taylor is forced to live the life she tried to avoid. And although her new-found friendships help her along the way, as a mother myself, I have to wonder if the author, editor, publisher, or anyone who pre-read the story knew anything about having babies or motherhood.

Overall, I was largely unimpressed by this book. I'd be interested to know the reasoning behind its choice, and given the date of publication, I wonder if I somehow avoided reading and junior-analyzing it for High School English class. Back then it might have moved me in some profound way, but for now, it's not worth hauling in your tote and really should only be read by obligation.

Certain Girls

Once again, I will gush about the wonder that is Weiner. Jennifer Weiner, to be exact, but I guess the other kind has its positives too.

After you've read a couple of Weiner's books, there are certain characteristics and a certain tone that you eventually come to crave, actually being drawn to reading one of her books, knowing nothing other than that she wrote it so it has to be good. Weiner's Good In Bed is what initially sparked my love of her so you can imagine my excitement when I happened to find a sequel: Certain Girls.

Reading Good In Bed first is a must if understanding auxiliary characters is something that is important to you. Otherwise, I think the overall theme and general plot of the book is something a lot of women can relate to, especially mothers and daughters.

Cannie Shapiro I Won't Even Attempt Her Married Last Time, is the very understatement of "helicopter parent," long before that was even a thing. Her now-teenager, Joy, is your typical, American teenager, embarrassed by her mother and critical to everything she says, does, and wears, but is otherwise beautiful, intelligent, and empathetic. When curiosity gets the better of her and she picks up the fiction-based-on-non-fiction novel her mother published shortly after she was born, Joy's life feels turned upside down. While both blaming her mother and dying to know about a part of her mother's past, she sets out in search of it, be damned she's only 13!

What she finds is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Through personal experience and by traveling through her mother's past, Joy learns what makes us all human, not perfect and worth understanding and at least sympathy. She learns things aren't always what they seem and that maybe most dark clouds do have silver linings. And that loving your mother really isn't so terrible after all.

With a certain amount of humor you come across in her other books noticeably absent, the laugh-out-loud moments were few and far between, something that also surprised me with her The Guy Not Taken: Stories. But she touches on some difficult subject with charm, wit, and a healthy dose of sarcasm. It's a good curl-up-with-an-Irish-Coffee kind of book while still making you think - especially as a mother to a daughter - how will I handle her questions to me about my past? It also proved to be a beacon of how my writing might one day affect her. It also made me think about my mother and how she handles my questions about her past. What we all want, when we're Joy at age 13, is to not know our mothers are human. When we're an adult with daughters of our own, what we want to know is that they are human.

A Captain's Duty

This particular story flew onto my radar by way of the thing that controls all of our televisions: The Today Show, which is regrettable for a few reasons: 1) The story of Captain Phillips and his kidnapping by Somali pirates, as documented in his memoir, A Captain's Duty, happened not that long ago in April of 2009 but I was just made aware of it in December 2013; and B) The show was interviewing Tom Hanks about his role in the newly released film as Captain Phillips himself. *shudder* After spending most of The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons wishing someone else had played Robert Langdon, I find it hard to watch a Tom Hanks movie that's not A League of Their Own. So when I heard them discuss the movie, I jumped up to my computer to search for the book. No way there wasn't a book to precede this new Hollywood spectacle. Of course there was a book, and fortunately written by the Captain himself (and Stephan Talty).

I read this in December, long after I had called it quits on the Summer of the Memoir. But after reading several non-fiction, I now consider it one of my favorite genres, and one that I'm inexplicably drawn to. A Captain's Duty did not disappoint.

Phillips is an experienced Merchant Marine with a love and passion for the trade that not everyone shares or understands. He's dealt with his share of ups and downs, crews that wouldn't cooperate or that he had to replace altogether, near-death accidents, and the surprisingly common pirate warnings and seizes. He's learned that remaining calm is the best route to take especially, and which he exemplifies, as he's taken by pirates to use as ransom on the mainland, only heightening his danger as the chance for locating him once on land would be slim to none.

Written with the blunt honesty of a man who spends most of his life at sea, but with an easy-to-understand flow even when it came time to insert all of those blasted Merchant Marine facts and figures, Phillips expertly conveys the waves of emotions during those perilous days at sea. Gripping yet solemn, once Phillips is taken hostage by pirates, the reader can almost imagine him huddled in the life-raft with a pen and paper, documenting every move and breath rather than suffering as he did. Or maybe that is just more comforting for us readers to picture.

The story takes a bit to get going because, as with any book, a certain amount of set-up information is involved. And if you watched any of the news coverage back in 2009, as I didn't because I haven't had cable in a few years, you already know what went down. Was it important is that he lived to tell the tale. And oh what a tale it is, the least we can do is carry it around in our tote and read what actually happened instead of the overblown Hollywood version.

Dark Places

Gillian Flynn does not mess around. When she says she's going to take you to some dark places, boy does she mean it. After finishing Gone Girl, I wasn't sure I'd ever be mentally prepared to step back into the disturbing worlds she seems so hell-bent on creating in such vivid, morbid detail. But I found myself in a bad mood for about a week and was inexplicably drawn to Dark Places, knowing I was only guaranteed an ending, not whether it would be a good one.

Set in both 1985 and present day, Flynn takes us on a mysterious journey of murder, Satan worship, and family drama. Libby is the sole survivor of "The Satan Sacrifice of Kinnakee, Kansas," and to say her emotional scars run deep is a vast understatement. To say her pockets run just as deep is a misconception that leads to her using her story and involvement in the murder as a way to keep afloat a lifestyle she's not all that interested in. But what she inevitably discovers is that what she thought she knew isn't what she knew at all, and that while she was the one person to help convict the killer 25 years ago, she's probably the only one who knows the least about what happened.

Just reading the back book cover and it's no big surprise who the killer is. Or is it? Like Sharp Objects and Gone Girl, the reader goes through the range of emotions of it being obvious who did it but maybe they didn't do it, not having any idea who did it, thinking every character did it, then figuring out who did it and thinking, D'oh! Why didn't I think of that before? But what I most appreciate about Flynn - besides her penchant for going where we're all thinking without holding back - is that, as the reader, we unravel the mystery right along with the main character. Too many mysteries I've read have the protagonist figuring everything out long before the reader is supposed to, and patronizes the reader by making them wait to find out what they know. With Libby, we had the pleasure of the cogs in our brain turning right along with her's, and thankfully only she was subjected to the immediate result.

An incredibly dark story written with zero glints of sunlight, Flynn enlightens the dark places hidden in all of us and what sets them free and what keeps them in check by our morals. She subtly breaks it down to reveal that none of us are very different and that all of us are just a few misunderstandings away from turning into the darkness ourselves. A must-read you won't mind carrying in your tote - or not even have to since it's completely plausible to finish in a weekend - Flynn expertly weaves together what is great about Gone Girl and what is great about Sharp Objects: mystery with just enough creep to keep it intriguing, and horrifying while still maintaining a bit of fantasy. Or at least that's what I tell myself in order to get to sleep at night...

Frozen In Time

I know I routinely tout that there isn't anything I won't read (except that time I refused to read The Girl Who Played with Fire). I'm still disappointed I misplaced The Book of Mormon an Arizona Senator gave me when I was in my early 20's, and I've tried reading the Bible a few times but have never gotten further than the apple. When they find one that reads like a novel, let me know. But it's not like I refuse to read historical non-fiction, it's just that I've never considered it before. Like the Fantasy genre, it has never entered my book-verse. But I read and enjoyed Game of Thrones so I can read Frozen In Time: An Epic Story of Survival and a Modern Quest for Lost Heroes of WWII and enjoy that, too. And I did.

If I were to pick up a historical non-fiction of my own volition, a story about any war would not be it. While incredibly interesting, when it starts to get down to details like airplane types, bomb types, rankings, etc. my brain goes numb. So this book was introduced to me by my friend who agreed to read The Gringo with me if I read this with her, and I have to say, she made a much better choice.

A professor at Boston University, Mitchell Zuckoff embarks on a highly improbable mission to recover downed airplanes in the expanse of Greenland, lead by a man whose sole purpose in life is to recover people and items from the war and return them to US soil. Missions of this exact nature were tried and failed in the past, making government intervention highly unlikely and unstable at best. Without losing hope and with time rapidly closing in before nasty-ER weather smothered Greenland, the crew and Zuckoff, documenting the expedition, reached Greenland with no other option than to find the Duck, a WWII amphibious airplane that disappeared while trying to rescue another crash.

Zuckoff expertly weaves together two enthralling tales: one of the courageous, heroic, and amazing men struggling to survive in half an airplane during a rough Arctic winter (like there's any other kind); the other a modern-day adventure of mystery, intrigue, danger, drama, and suspense as they try to solve the mystery of exactly what happened all those years ago. Although the beginning takes a bit of effort to trudge through thanks to those darn things called "facts" and "information," and given this wouldn't have been my first book choice....ever.... I was surprised to find myself unable to put it down in under 100 pages (if it takes over 100 pages I start to wonder why I'm wasting my time with your book). I even hauled it in my tote across the country to - how ironic is this? - Boston (if I had read the book jacket more closely, I probably would have stalked him while I was in the area).

Written clearly, concisely, and with only a hint of personal feelings about what was happening at any given moment, Zuckoff takes something that could have ended up extremely dry and turned it into something so thrilling that the moment I finished the book, I tweeted him begging to tell me a follow-up was in the works (as far as I know, no; but he did send me the link to his blog).

Finishing this in a weekend would be a little ambitious, there is a lot of information and a lot of things that promote putting it down every few minutes and staring off into space to contemplate. Thanks to this pick, I've added his previous best-seller, Lost in Shangri-La: Escape from a Hidden World - A True Story, which received high-praise from people I take book advice from: my friend and my Uncle.

I'm sure most war-based, historical non-fiction books are interesting but since this is my one and only experience, I'm going to go ahead and recommend you read this one. It's one of the few I've "taken for the team," and read on hard-cover, and I'm glad I did.

The Gringo

I came across this title by way of a virtual goodreads.com friend. I read the description and instantly added it to my list for Summer of the Memoir. Having momentarily fancied the idea of joining the Peace Corps after college then realizing I'd have to leave all of my high heels at home, the subject matter instantly piqued my interest.

Like anyone entering government work, J. Grigsby Crawford jumped head-first into his Peace Corps assignment with grandiose dreams of changing the world, one poverty-stricken village at a time. Initially put-off by the recruitment and training regimen, which used to be difficult but now more closely resembles grade school Field Day, Crawford ultimately follows through and asks for the most popular and widely-known (and most likely to lead to a high-level government job) assignment: remote South America. But upon his arrival, things are off to a very weird, very unpredictable start.

Although the population of the area he was supposed to be helping quickly rebutted him and put his life in danger on numerous occasions, Crawford never lost his desire for the dream. Working tirelessly to do something, he wound up making the most difference (mostly to himself) in only a short amount of time, and spent the rest worrying if he would live from one day to the next. His account isn't exactly what I would call a glowing recommendation for the Peace Corps, or any government-run agency.

As most of us do, I looked up to the Peace Corps as something I'd only ever aspire to be like. I put the organization and the people in it on a pedestal of greatness; stronger, more capable, and fearless than I ever could hope to be. I feel powerless without my high heels. While Crawford lived up to that embodiment, his account of the organization and its members is rather disappointing and frustrating.

An interesting story with twists and turns you don't see coming, The Gringo is more than just a memoir but a tale of survival, idiocy, hopes of changing the world, and just how difficult people can make that be. Written more like a working blog than a memoir, Crawford takes you along for the ride, random observations of human nature and the occasional swear word just in case his mother isn't reading included. He learned a lot during his travels abroad and we learned something from him thanks to his candor and unwillingness to sugar coat his experience. His ultimate feelings about what he was trying to accomplish were quite disappointing, but had it been us, we would have felt a lot worse.

A short, relatively uncomplicated read that flows more like a blog, finishing this in a weekend and/or hauling around in your tote isn't any more difficult than dealing with intense genital pain in the middle of South America.