Happy Place by Emily Henry

Rarely do I purchase a brand-new book and start reading it immediately, thinking that my other 400-plus to-be-reads will somehow be jealous. But the internet has nothing but good things to say about Emily Henry's latest novel, Happy Place, and I had just cashed in $50 worth of coins, so I decided, why the heck not? A fluffy, heart-warming, story, that's a fun read, but one that I didn't enjoy as much as I do the two new outfits I also purchased with said coins.

Coming-of-age friends, Serena, Perth, Cleo, Kimmy, Wyn, and Harriet are coming together for their yearly trip to Maine for Lobster Fest, only this trip will be their last since Serena's father decided to sell their summer cottage. On top of that, Serena and Perth have decided this to be their wedding weekend, and the icing on this cake is that no one knows that five months prior, Wyn and Harriet decided to call it quits on their seemingly fairy-tale romance, and have yet to tell their closest friends. They'll need to fake it this week, for the sake of their friends, and for the sake of their memories.

Happy Place is a Hallmark movie - the best of friends, on their best behavior, eating the best food, with the best views, where even the conflict isn't even that conflicting -  a since-broken-up couple who clearly still want to be together. A frothy, fun book that epitomizes summer, I would have found Happy Place to be far more relatable had I read it some 20-years ago; I can't relate to the concept of having close, life-long friends, much less having close, life-long friends who I travel with. The book is a bit overly descriptive, sometimes losing track of where I actually was, and the book is quippy, but with way too many one-liners, everything comes off a bit contrived; forced; extra cheese to go with all of their wine. I caught the "twist" way too early, and the ending droned on, a beating of the dead horse of miscommunication and deep insecurities, which is also why I have a hard time relating to these characters; life takes on a new shade when you hit 40 with three kids and a divorce under your belt. But this story did make me fall even more in love with my boyfriend, so there's that. Many people will - and have - enjoyed Happy Place, I'm just not one of them. ⭐⭐⭐/5 on my goodreads.

Verity by Colleen Hoover

 

Like many of you, I don't even know where to begin with this book, unless you're a Goodreads reviewer, in which case, you have a lot to say and most of it consists of, "Are you kidding me?!" Verity, by Colleen Hoover - or CoHo, as she is so lovingly dubbed by her loyal and extensive fan-base - is...a book. Is it a good book? No, I definitely wouldn't call it a "good book." It's a...book...that you will...read. And then you'll go, "Huh." 

Lowen Ashleigh - let's just take in that name for a moment - is a struggling writer with zero money but has just been offered the job of a lifetime: completing the highly popular, and highly successful, series of novels for the now-incapacitated author, Verity Crawford. The only problem - or bonus - is that she will be doing most of her work in the home that Verity shares with her husband, Jeremy, who Lowen quickly develops feelings for (of course). Then Lowen stumbles upon a manuscript, an autobiography that was never meant to be read, and quickly gets sucked into a dark world of sex and manipulation and violence.

This book definitely gets you hooked right from the first sentence, and keeps you hooked so you're able to get through some truly triggering scenes. It's gripping and intense, an undeniable, character-driven, page-turner, with a hint of eroticism that has a tendency to lean towards the ridiculous, and can be kind of foul. Verity is a book you either love or you hate, with an ending that you will either think is genius or too easy, but it's definitely an ending worth reading the book for, a vast contrast from Behind Her Eyes. You will absolutely read to find out if your assumptions about Verity are true, and I spotted a new edition at Target that boasted a Bonus Chapter, so I am very intrigued as to what is in that.

There is one redeeming quality to Verity and that is the writing. It is rough and not at all elegant, and even brutal at times, which only adds to the sinister underbelly of this story. And although Lowen isn't the most popular of characters on Goodreads, I think she is a necessary catalyst to get the reader to form their suspicions. From Verity, I can see how "CoHo" is a true talent, I'm just not sure about this book. I honestly don't know how many stars to give it. Three, I guess? I don't even know.

Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes

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If you're the person who wrote the synopsis of Hidden Bodies on the book jacket, then consider yourself one of the lucky few who didn't actually read this novel by Caroline Kepnes, the follow-up to the darkly sexual You. Be thankful that you side-stepped this filthy poor excuse for a story (but still got paid).

The book jacket says that Joe Goldberg, Serial Stalker and Accidental Serial Killer, moves to Los Angeles for a fresh start, and to find love, but can't stop looking over his shoulder because "hidden bodies never stay hidden," when - in fact - Joe does not move to LA for a fresh start, he is most definitely not looking for love, and hidden bodies aren't actually a nuisance to Joe until the second-to-last chapter. This book - which is coated in a thin layer of ick - is a big fuck-you to Hollywood and everyone in the industry. It's a running list of rejected screenplays, and, yet, is somehow a tale of wildest dreams coming true, and it's the most unexpected representation of blatant sexism, Kepnes unabashedly portraying every male character as a simple-minded, blow-job obsessed, robot, including our hero, Joe. I'm not going to tell you the synopsis, and if you've watched the second season of You on Netflix, it's not that either.

The beginning is as you'd expect for the sequel to You - erotic and sinisterly sexy - but quickly turns dirty, raunchy, and just plain gross. As you power through the filth, and presumably shower several times, Joe is bitter, angry, and crass. OG Joe was our hero stalker, protecting Beck from Benji and Peach and herself, but LA Joe is on the hunt for revenge; a hunt for "Supercunts," the use of this word a little too prolific for my taste, but ultimately getting distracted by feeling compelled to murder everyone who irritates him. I've read trashy, grocery-store pseudo-romance novels, and I've watched porn, but this book is just foul; absolute garbage.

The only redeeming qualities of this book, if you can call them that, is that Joe has remarkably good luck and a remarkably fulfilling sex-life in spite of his penchant for killing people; he's moved on from simple stalking. And I agree with his sentiments about LA: it's claustrophobic, dirty, expensive, you spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about parking, you experience three different seasons in one day - mild spring in the morning, intense humidity in late morning, desert-like heat for the afternoon, and freezing nights - and although everything is literally leaning up against everything else, everyone drives everywhere even though everyone is worried about parking. Wow, I sounded like Joe there for a minute. But while a lot seems to happen to Joe, nothing actually happens; it's just the wanderings and bitter observations of a bitter man; hundreds of pages of Joe's melodramatic, narcissistic, bitching and moaning. I sped through it because, like bad sex, I was waiting for something interesting to happen, and when I eventually realized that that was never going to happen, I just wanted it to be over so I could move on to a good book, which is a true story involving the Holocaust, if that tells you anything about how much I enjoyed Hidden Bodies. ⭐/5 on my goodreads profile, and that's being generous. Will I continue to follow Joe's journey in You Love Me? Most likely no.

Winter in Paradise by Elin Hilderbrand

I never considered myself to be particularly particular when it comes to my habit of seasonal reading. That is, until I started making more of an effort to find winter-related and/or set-in-winter novels to read during...wait for it...winter. As I looked around, it became apparent that while summer seemed to be a character in and of itself, winter was merely something that occurred alongside the story line.

I found Elin Hilderbrand's Winter in Paradise during one of my many trips to the book section of Walmart and - armed with a Christmas gift card burning a hole in my wallet - decided to see if Hilderbrand can be to winter what she is to summer. Given my detest for her Winter Series, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I ultimately enjoyed Winter in Paradise, and how I am actually looking forward to the next in this new series, What Happens in Paradise.

Irene Steele lives a seemingly idyllic life in Iowa City. Her husband adores her to sky-writing proportions, her perfect house has been perfectly designed by her, and her grown sons are off thriving with families, jobs, and hobbies of their own. Then, on New Years Day, her world comes crashing down along with the helicopter that held her husband, Russ, the pilot, and a local woman. Adding confusion to heartbreak, Russ's helicopter crashed in the Virgin Islands, miles from where he was supposed to be. What was he doing there? Who was the local woman, and why was she with Russ that fateful day? Irene and her sons begin to unravel the mystery surrounding their husband and father, while piling on some mysteries and secrets of their own. Hilderbrand's shift from Nantucket summers to St. John's winters takes us on a dramatic, emotional, and cliched journey that is inexplicably intriguing with sharp characters who are surprisingly relatable.

Quickly written, with a plot that sucks you in despite not being anything more extraordinary than your basic Soap Opera, the story is compulsive and voyeuristic, and the imagery is nothing short of exquisite. Winter in Paradise is the perfect read for sitting on the beaches of St. John's yourself, or if you're snuggled up in your snowbound chalet, dreaming of a tropical paradise. Either way, you'll never want to leave.

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⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 on goodreads

The Rumor by Elin Hilderbrand

Elin Hilderbrand is the undisputed Queen of the Beach Read, despite The Rumor being set mostly amongst a lush Nantucket garden that would drive even Martha Stewart wild with desire. But she does not reign supreme simply because most of her novels take place during the summer, but because you can sit somewhere - maybe on a beach - and burn through the pages faster than a marshmallow at a bonfire. Her plots are creative, surprising, and well-crafted, with engrossing and quick characters, and The Rumor just makes me want more.

Madeline King and Grace Pancik have been best friends for two decades and the envy of Nantucket society. As summer descends on the island, so does the droves of visitors, seasonal residents, and everyone cooped up and restless from another relentless Nantucket winter. Anxious for things to happen and anxious to make things happen, a minor misunderstanding gets the rumor mill spinning. Is Madeline having an affair with Grace's husband? Is that why she had to get her own apartment? As everyone is about to learn, while rumors aren't the pillar of accuracy, the truth can end up being so much worse.

The Rumor is non-strop, unputdownable drama. The twists and turns offered up during this Nantucket summer are surprising, well-executed, is a jolt of pure entertainment, and has me wondering if Hilderbrand has ever been approached - or thought - about any of her books going the way of Big Little Lies and being turned into, at the very least, a Lifetime mini-series. And, in truth, Hilderbrand's novels would serve up a lot more meat than BLL, a show with a second season despite not having a sequel to the book.

In The Rumor, Hilderbrand highlights that even picturesque island-living comes with its own form of isolation, and that even if we know a lot about the lives of our neighbors, we might be oblivious to the goings on of our own. Hilderbrand also subtly points out that gossip - like an affair - is fun in the moment and facilitates a bond, but is also bad juju in the same way that when we point fingers at someone, we have four more pointing back at us, and that we can't sling mud without getting some on ourselves. And just to make it a solid three cliches, to keep in mind the Golden Rule of treating people the way we want to be treated, including our level of desire to be the talk of the town.

While for The Rumor, I sing nothing but praises, I find Hilderbrand as an author to be a bit of an enigma. Having loved the first novel of hers that I ever read - Barefoot - I was excited to learn just how expansive her collection actually is, and that she is currently in the process of growing her other collection, the Winter series. Unfortunately, I find those novels awful, absolutely awful. But I will happily add one of her Nantucket novels to my repertoire of summer reading every single year. Until then, I gave this one in particular ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 on goodreads.

Into the Jungle by Erica Ferencik

Like most things in the world today, I was encouraged to read Into the Jungle by Erica Ferencik via social media, though once finding it at my local library, the book jacket synopsis had me sold.

Lily is a 19-year old girl who spent her life in the foster care system, too young for her old experience, cynical, bitter, and used to being abandoned more than anything else. Lying, cheating, and stealing in order to survive, Lily meets Omar in a crowded Bolivian bar and, in what is quite possibly the most tumultuous way to begin a new relationship, is swept away to his home village in the jungle so that he can help his family hunt the jaguar that killed his nephew. Lily's next 10-months in the jungle are fast-paced, gritty, horrifying, but also heartwarming and extremely educational; a lot can be learned from this book, aside from just how to live and love in the jungle.

A lot had to have gone into writing this book, the imagery alone is lyrical and beautiful and haunting, a true talent given that the jungle is a place constantly on a quest to kill you. Ferencik's inclusion of political and industrial policy, weaving it into the delicate lives of those who remain in the jungle, is genius and poignant and does a great honor to a land so taken for granted. Ferencik expertly, though heartbreakingly, articulates the sad truth that the issues that face this land and these people are shouted into the wind and carried away forever, like the brown river water. "...it's not over, this bad story no one can get away from. There will be other poachers. This is not the end of those bad men, of these terrible times..."

Into the Jungle is gripping and powerful, scary and romantic, tough and fragile, and the writing is truly above par, which is why I gave it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 on goodreads. It is a very entertaining, engrossing story that is not only interesting to read, but has a fair amount to teach us about our own capabilities and limits and how both might be just figments of our imagination.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

I want to live in a world in which Kinsella creates, which is quite silly, really, because her world is the natural one, she just fills it with charming, real characters who, while still having the usual human flaws, offer sympathy and humanity. Book after book, Kinsella's cast of characters continue to restore our faith in humanity; we can have a big fuck up and people who love us. We can have both things. Kinsella deftly navigates the negatives of life with wit, charisma, and a sly bit of sarcasm, and makes us believe that things really will be all right in the end, even when it all goes wrong.

In Kinsella's latest novel, I Owe You One, Fixie Farr - Ms. Fix-It to her family - has one self-described flaw: she needs to fix everything. What is spun as a personality defect by her self-absorbed siblings is actually her warm, open heart, willing to help anyone for virtually no reason at all. Caught up in her subtle family dramas that they leave her to deal with, Fixie is casually asked by a stranger in a coffee shop if she'll keep an eye on his laptop while he steps outside to take a call. Saving the laptop from certain disaster for stranger Sebastian leads to a roller coaster of IOUs, from the silly to the life-changing. As a result of this happenstance meeting, Fixie learns more about herself, what she's worth compared to what she think she's worth, that if people truly respect her, they will also respect her boundaries, and that having boundaries is not a referendum on how much she loves and cares for others. 

With her finger firmly on the cultural pulse, Kinsella pokes fun at the pitfalls of always finding the positive in every situation, and the slippery slope between self care and being downright selfish. And, of course, in a warm, light prose, Kinsella makes us laugh with the lunacy of family we all find way too familiar. Her writing is genuine, funny, and really engages with the reader; I can't decide if I want to be one of Kinsella's characters, or if I want to be best friends with them.

I Owe You One is a definite delight. What is on the surface a light, fun page-turner full of quip, is also a poignant reflection of our relationships with friends, family, and spouses; and that those little lies we tell ourselves in order to give people the benefit of the doubt is actually hurting us more than simply facing the truth - that some people are worth our love and "fixing," and some people are not. Fixie is a delightful character we can carry in our hearts as we continue to navigate the difference between the two.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 on goodreads because I can't imagine ever giving one of her books anything less than four stars.

I usually read at least one Sophie Kinsella book every year, which isn't by design, it just happens to always work out that way (this year I will read two, however, because Becky Brandon nee Bloomwood is BACK!), and each book of her's that I read manages to be the exact book I need to read at that particular point in my life. Yes, I realize how dramatic that sounds and I don't mean it to be, but my fellow bibliophiles will understand that one of the reasons we love and gravitate towards books so much is because we can relate them, or parts of them, to our own lives. Reading the stories of others oftentimes helps us see issues in our own lives from a different perspective, helps us draw certain conclusions, or give us confidence in our emotions. And, of course, that we're not alone.

Ghosted by Rosie Walsh

No doubt the Russian bots over in Europe are well-versed in my constantly-touted Top Five Fave List, because it is so coveted and all, and due to my tremendous pull in the literary world. 🙄 But I have decided to permanently name it the Phenomenal Phive, and it exists only in my mind. Rather than being an ever-rotating tabulation, I envision my list like slots waiting to be filled. And although I read, on average, 30 books a year, and I award a lot of five stars on Goodreads for the simple fact that I am able to appreciate most everything I read, only a handful of books have ever really given me all the feels; and that is what makes a phenomenal book. Ghosted by Rosie Walsh is, in a word, phenomenal. Fortunately, I have a lot of other words to use to describe this incredible, beautifully-crafted story with multi-layered, heart-breakingly complicated characters. Where Heart's Invisible Furies fell flat in the drama of missed opportunities; and reminiscent of what made The Woman in the Window utterly heartbreaking, Ghosted absolutely shines and takes its rightful place among phenomenal books.

Sarah Mackey is a trans-Atlantic mover-and-shaker who has convinced herself that she is happy. A chance meeting on a particularly challenging day and suddenly Sarah is certain her happiness lies in Eddie David, a large, handsome, charming man tending to a stray sheep. After a whirlwind week together, they part ways and he says he'll call. Only he doesn't. And seems to disappear altogether. But Sarah is convinced it is more than just a simple change of mind. What follows is a heart-twisting tale packed with romance, mystery, drama, heartbreak, love, loyalty, desire, and betrayal set against a backdrop of beautifully-engineered imagery. The writing is exquisite, packed with such standard, though powerful, details that give the book wings, and sparkle, and flavor, and to read it is to feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Ghosted made my heart race, made me yearn for the unanswered questions, made me laugh out loud, and moved me to tears. This is an extraordinary book that is - according to the Goodreads reviews - not given its proper due, which is truly unfortunate. The basic premise - the infamous guy who never calls - is so much deeper and more poignant that what the book jacket suggests, which is perhaps why this book does not meet certain readers' expectations. But, wow. Just, wow. This book is absolutely stunning and is one of those I wish I could give a million stars to.

But with every book I find absolutely phenomenal, there are reviews of it that I absolutely do not understand. Case in point, the reviews of All the Ugly and Wonderful Things truly make me angry. Some reviewers thought Ghosted to be, "blah," but this book is a wonderful example of the importance of reading every single word; the "Eddie" section alone is pure romantic torture. I hope people read this book and see the life in it; see the joy and sorrow that is burdened on every person who walks this earth, and how some feel that their mere existence is a cause for pain. And I hope people read this book and see the power, and love, and new life that can suddenly be sprung on us at any moment. This is definitely a book that could be read in a weekend and you might need a handkerchief come the final chapter. But, wow, is it a tremendous book and I happily award it a slot on the Phenomenal Phive.

The Heart You Need by Diane R. Jewkes

It's hard to believe that during my thus far lustrous reading career that I could encounter anymore "firsts" when it comes to books. But alas, I have; and for a few different reasons. First, The Heart You Need by Diane R. Jewkes was my first foray into e-reading. Second - and perhaps even harder to believe - Jewkes' foray into Historical Romance was my first of this particular genre, which was coupled with yet another first - being approached and asked to read this specific book in exchange for an honest review. So while Historical Romance with a Sensual classification isn't a section of the library I will find myself in very often, Jewkes, with her multifaceted characters, intriguing story lines, and impeccable research, just might have me going back.

Set against the backdrop of San Francisco on the cusp of becoming one of the world's most formidable cities, we meet Adeline - Linnie - who is a formidable woman in her own right. Using her job as a Society columnist, Linnie repeatedly straddles the boundaries between proper decorum and family loyalty, but not without the help of new companions, Alec, Kara, and Hawke. In her characters, Jewkes expertly crafts a cast who are both likable and relatable, but also highly emotionally-charged, while managing to avoid being overly dramatic. With exquisite, clear imagery, Romantic prose, and artful metaphors, Jewkes pays homage not only to the budding romance of Linnie and Alec, but also to the beauty of the budding West.

Alec, thanks to the talents of Ms. Jewkes, is a splendid character who is not only strong, stubborn, and sometimes boorish, but skillfully sexual and ruggedly romantic. On business from Scotland, he meets Linnie in the most obscure way and soon finds himself enraptured by her penchant for moving a mile a minute; one moment she's there, then another she's gone, at least until she's wrapped in Alec's broad arms. But while we can appreciate this particular facet of Linnie, the execution and transfer of the scenes can sometimes be a bit rocky and sudden. Nevertheless, Jewkes employs her charismatic characters to steer the story into very intriguing places.

As a storyteller, Jewkes is an exceptional writer, creating clear, concise plot movement, and her meticulous use of metaphors is on point. Her sex scenes are cigarette worthy, and she expertly gives us a twist in the story without waxing poetic or using unnecessary filler. Reminiscent of a Hallmark Channel movie or mini-series, The Heart You Need provides just enough danger and violence to keep you turning the page, but not so much so that you can't read the book late at night. However, while Jewkes skillfully and appropriately ties up the loose ends, one pivotal plot point remains unanswered, which - given that this is her second novel in what I can only assume will be a lustrous literary career - may pave the way for a companion novel or sequel. Jewkes skilled linkage of each character and story - a la Thomas Kinkade - can only lead to more novels starring this magnetic cast.

All in all, I couldn't have chosen a better novel to steal my e-reading virginity than The Heart You Need. Well thought-out, exceptionally researched, and exquisitely emotional, Jewkes' talent can only get better from here. When she eventually stands with Nora Roberts, Danielle Steel, and Stella Cameron, I can say I knew her when...

Fifty Shades Darker

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that avid readers of the Fifty Shades trilogy are well-versed in Sex and the City, up to and including both movies (sorry, the quality of the second is a discussion for another time). The series ended with a nice little wrap-up of everyone's feelings in just the way you expected them that it was difficult for devoted fans to predict where the movie would pick up and eventually take us. The end of Fifty Shades of Grey was considerably the opposite, ending on heartbreak, sadness, loneliness, and extreme confusion, leaving devoted fans how the story could possibly continue given Christian's "fifty shades of fucked up." But where Carrie explores what happens after "happily ever after" in Sex and the City: The Movie, Anastasia Steele explores what happens when you change the unchangeables and actually get exactly what you want.

Let's face it: there's a bit of Anastasia in all of us, especially as we embark on finding and cultivating adult relationships. Virgin in every sense of the word, Ana, gets back together with Christian Grey faster than us women-of-the-world would, but probably a lot slower than most of us in our early 20s. Loving all of his "fifty shades of fucked-up-ness," she finds herself easily manipulated by Grey and his, what I at 31 years old deem, obsessive and controlling behavior. She finds it cute. And in the beginning it is. But what was tawdry and risque in Fifty Shades of Grey, is sticky, saccharine, and disgustingly sweet in Fifty Shades Darker. I mean, SPOILER ALERT they don't get to the real kinky stuff until the second to last chapter! Otherwise, there is a lot of "vanilla sex," and "making love." The declarations of love are enough to actually glue my eyeballs to the ceiling as my grandmother had always warned. By 100 pages in, I was giggling at the sheer absurdity of it instead of any sexual explicitness . It did make me seriously consider how my husband and I could go from bitterly arguing to making out and ripping each others close off in a matter of seconds, though. *That* is something out of the book I'd like to try.

Like we are all Anastasia to some degree, we all know a Christian Grey; someone of the emotionally unavailable variety. And while this book encompasses fairy tales old and new - including the name Anastasia, who, coincidentally, decides to keep her long, flowing hair - it explores the ultimate fantasy: what happens when we get exactly what we want from our partner?

Christian is willing to give Ana everything she ever wanted if she just stays with him, moves in with him, and SPOILER ALERT agrees to marry him all within a span of a week after getting back together with him from breaking up because of his pain fetish. It was hard to believe the span of time collectively between the two novels was approximately six weeks, and that's being generous (and don't even get my friend, Mer, started on how Christian is only 27-years old. And don't even get *me* started on how a girl with zero sexual or relationship experience has multiple, mind-blowing orgasms. That alone should classify it as Science Fiction/Fantasy.). Naturally, though, if Ana got everything she wanted without any drawbacks, us housewives would have thrown the book down with disgust. Apart from getting the sex she wanted, getting everything else didn't come without it's drama, which - let's face it - we appreciate. Would we be one of Grey's crazy exes who didn't understand why she wasn't The One to Fix Grey? Possibly. He's rather difficult to deal with and I'd want some sort of retribution for being with him, especially if I was one of the few who did caning.

Written to suck you in, sentences usually no longer than a handful of words, E.L. James had one purpose: to lay it all out there. I remember her giggling through a Today Show interview, shrugging and saying she just wrote down every fantasy she's ever had whenever she had a spare moment, even if that meant on her iPhone. As luck would have it for her (ok, and us), they ended up being some variation of all of our fantasies. After all, none of us have actually changed anyone, especially someone with a strong, unorthodox compulsion that requires professional psychiatric help. And where leaving our respective non-changers would have worked for two weeks maximum, Grey seems to be instantly cured. Sorry, still laughing...

While James claims these books have no deeper meaning, I can't help but think the study of these in some sort of sociological, psychological, or even anthropological setting would be interesting.

It was definitely what the Romance genre boasts a "page-turner," but the obsession with the book series is beyond my comprehension. While I'm not attracted to series in general, those of only three books usually leave me panting for the third (Hunger Games, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Not this time. Darker sort-of ends with a cliffhanger, something James threw down at the end to leave the door open for more sexually charged mischief. My friend, Mer, said she thought Fifty Shades Freed was a waste of time and paper and that the story could have ended with the second book. Me, I have no looming desire to pick up the third book, if only for the reason I picked up the second: something easy and mindless to read after a summer spent reading memoirs (I realize that sounds book-snob-ish). But if I never know how the story ends, I'll be able to live with my bookish self. The only real draw to me finishing the series is so I get all of the Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired e-cards.

The House of Velvet and Glass

My wonderful husband brought Katherine Howe's The House of Velvet and Glass home for me for Mother's Day, seeing the picture of the Titanic on the front and knowing I'm a complete sucker for the fated ship and anything having to do with it (thank you Leo and Kate). While this book entertained me for a good hour total, I found it lacking in several ways, and oftentimes very confusing.

To start, the synopsis reads: "......But when her brother is mysteriously kicked out of Harvard under mysterious circumstances, and falls under the sway of a strange young woman, Sibyl turns for help to psychology professor Benton Derby, despite the unspoken tensions of their shared past. As Benton and Sibyl work together to solve a harrowing mystery, their long-simmering spark flares to life, and they realize that there may be something even more magical between them than a medium's scrying glass......The House of Velvet and Glass weaves together meticulous period detail, intoxicating romance, and a final shocking twist that will leave readers breathless."

I applaud Howe's attempt at suspense and drama but, for me, it just didn't quite hit the mark; and - to start - I was confused as to why her first novel was a New York Times Bestseller, which is of a similar genre. Quite honestly, though, I haven't read it, and, even more honestly, based on this book, I won't be rushing out to read any of her others. Where Howe comes off as dramatic and cliff-hanger-y is actually more confusing; and the weird Interludes between certain chapters is just distracting. And I don't know if it was that or just the story in general that made it seemed like it dragged on forever; never in my reading career have I actually taken more than 2 days to read the last 3 pages of a book. Moreover, this was the first book I gave up on the epilogue halfway though, and didn't even attempt the afterward.

Howe's main character, Sibyl, escapes the tragedy of the sinking of the Titanic by visiting a fortune teller, complete with all the tricks of the trade. But although that was all smoke and mirrors, Sibyl learns her talent for seeing is not, and is in fact, something that has touched her family before, besides her mother being hooked on this particular activity. As an homage, I suppose, Sibyl continued and discovered its apparent usefulness.

What it amounted to for the reader, however, was a lot of blind corners that, instead of leaving the reader breathless, leaved them scratching their heads. And with so many different characters named "Lannie" it was easy to get discombobulated.

I just have to interject, having a crucial character head off to war after a night of passion is something written by male romance writers. Shame on you, Katherine! My heart actually hurt at that moment. I realize it was her attempt at drama and heart-wrenching romance, but it came off as just cruel. Sorry for any spoiling, there.

By the time I buckled down and finished the book - something that eventually just started to feel like a monkey on my back - PUN! - I still hadn't detected the main selling points of the inside-flap synopsis. Why was Harlan kicked out of Harvard? The characters figured it out based on polite head-nods and over-simplified sentences, but, I, the reader, was still left in the dark. And what was really up with the "strange young woman?" Was it all really just because she was an actress? Or was that really just her way of saying she was a streetwalker, as all of the other characters suspected?

Most plaguing, what was the "harrowing mystery"? I was concerned I hadn't figured it out 200 pages in, but - and I don't know if I've mentioned this before - I can be a bit slow at times...most times.....

For most of the book, Sibyl kept her talents to herself, and then the process of revealing them to others was very long and drawn out, and, apparently, required an eventual trip to rehab. I hope the characters knew what mystery they were selected to solve because I sure couldn't wrap my head around it.

While fun, the historical accuracy wasn't anything more than you could pull off from an hour from hanging out on google. And the romance wasn't anything spectacular, but more reminiscent of demure high school days when you silently brooded for your heart's desire instead of pursuing it.

In the end, the book was worth it to me because my husband had thought enough to get it for me. Beyond that, the author didn't keep me hooked, and I spent more time questioning the characters than being captivated by them. And it left me with one burning question still hanging in the air: what was the shocking twist that was to leave me breathless??

If you ask me, I did a lot of sighing throughout this book.

Fifty Shades of Grey (and pink, and red, and maroon...)

Unless you live under the rock I do, Fifty Shades of Grey is only something you sort-of remember your coworker talking about. My friend, Mer, had found a write-up about it somewhere online and jokingly suggested it be our next book-club book. So it was suggested, so it shall be done, as she more seriously suggested it after our wine-fueled conversation inevitably turned to butt-sex.

For dinosaurs like myself, we had to wait until the beginning of April for the release, but those with e-readers could download it early. By the time I received my copy (the afternoon of its release), one book-clubber was already into the second book of the trilogy. Yes, that's correct, this appropriately-dubbed "mommy porn" (although anyone would appreciate it) is three-books long, and they're of pretty hefty size; long enough for the really weird stuff to come out.

Unlike everything else I've read about Fifty Shades of Grey, this won't include spoilers of the second and third books. Simple reason for that: I haven't read them. This also won't include a fawning over of Christian Grey. I get it, but that's not what floats my boat at the moment.

See, Christian Grey is an extremely successful, young, and even more beautiful entrepreneur. As the reader, I wasn't too sure exactly what his job was, then again that's why they award special business degrees, and not to me. But his work seems to take a back seat as he becomes more infatuated and obsessed with Anastasia Steele, recent English literature grad. But he does it in such a charismatic, charming, knock-your-socks-off romantic way that you can't but help but want to bend over so he can shove a cane up your ass.

They embark on a heavily emotional and physical relationship that ends up testing both Christina and Ana's "hard and soft" limits. Listening to the author, E.L. James, speak on the creation of her bestseller, I realized I read too much into the story. Then again, I saw so much of me and relationships I've been in throughout the book that it was difficult not the take the story as a giant metaphor for what people have been doing for centuries: being masochistic. Who hasn't been with someone we knew in our heart was going to hurt us but didn't care because the in-the-moments were amazing?

When you read it - because you do have to read it; I'm even shipping it to a friend of mine - I think it will be easy to draw parallels to your own, what you thought, was a mundane life. Besides the sex scenes - which romance novels a la Fabio cannot even compare - most everything in the story is relateable in some way, which is why I think it is so popular. The sex is just the icing on the cake, but extra special because it teaches women that exploring their sexuality and what makes them feel good is perfectly ok, should be expected, and can be a turn-on in and of itself. But my absolute favorite part about the book is the discussions it has spawned; you've made an instant BFF if the stranger next to you on the bus has read it also.

I absolutely cannot wait for book club this month! :-)