Me Talk Pretty One Day

Always late to the pop-culture party, I'm probably the last person on earth to pay any member of the Sedaris family any sort of attention. I vaguely remember the hoopla surrounding David Sedaris' latest release, Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls, but mainly just that all of my bookish friends were creaming themselves over it. Having had his Me Talk Pretty One Day taking up residence on my bookshelf (thus satisfying the criteria for Reading What Is Already On My Shelf), I thought it was high-time I see what all of the fuss was about. Turns out, not much.

What is described as a witty, sarcastic, artful re-telling of his weird adolescence is actually nothing more than Chelsea Handler with a smaller penis. But unlike Handler who seems to soften with age, Sedaris only hardens and becomes more bitter, and rapidly becomes the guy at the party you talk about later as, "Man, he was a real asshole."

Playing off the theme of his speech impediment - something that could have taken one good, lengthy chapter to cover, as opposed to the multi-chapter ramble he subjected us to -  we're taken on a bumpy ride through his self-described crappy life. Or maybe that's just his super-cheerful tone. *raises one eyebrow*

By the time he's found a partner who can stand him for longer than five minutes and followed him to France, Sedaris has become that friend we only talk to sporadically because they Debbie-Downer every situation. Against my honor as an avid book-reader, I actually skipped pages. (You're never going to learn French well enough, and the food in New York City is way too pretentious, I GET IT!)

To be fair, there were some parts - mostly in the beginning - where I found myself relating and even laughing out loud. I suppose that is what makes him even remotely appealing, as we often feel like our own lives are complete crap. But we generally don't feel that way 100% of the time, so having a book that contains 100% bitterness and negativity is discouraging.  While this book is in no way a reflection of his every day life, it can make you wonder: did this guy ever have an enjoyable moment that wasn't tinged with cynicism?

Regardless of your level of enjoyment as you read this (because everyone else seems to love these Sedaris people so much, I won't even waste word space and typing energy to tell you to skip this particular read), it's a quick read that won't take up too much room in your tote (though, it's not particularly worth hauling around).

I'll most likely read another of Sedaris' books if I ever find myself trapped on a deserted island and stumble upon it. When it comes to being bitter, having wonky childhoods and growing-up years, and indulging in negative reactions, we all can write our own essay-novels. Sedaris acts like he owns the market when, really, he's only perfected the art of whining.

The Bean Trees

Given my new reading goal of Reading What is Already on My Shelf, I haven't put much offer as of late into my local book club's latest picks. Also, I might have a tiny bug up my butt that no one read my pick. But then my crack dealer book supplier lent it to me, it was a short read, so I figured, what the heck and read Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees.

I'm glad it was a relatively short read because it definitely wasn't worth the detour from my bookshelf. A story about a young girl who feels she should be congratulated for escaping her hometown without getting pregnant, The Bean Trees is one of very little substance. Aside from suddenly being saddled with an abused Native American toddler in the beginning of her journey west from Kentucky, and the very last 45 pages of the book, absolutely nothing happened besides a lot of reminiscing over the past, how everyone has baggage, and how everyone carries it differently. The human condition, if you will.

Faced with sudden motherhood, Taylor is forced to live the life she tried to avoid. And although her new-found friendships help her along the way, as a mother myself, I have to wonder if the author, editor, publisher, or anyone who pre-read the story knew anything about having babies or motherhood.

Overall, I was largely unimpressed by this book. I'd be interested to know the reasoning behind its choice, and given the date of publication, I wonder if I somehow avoided reading and junior-analyzing it for High School English class. Back then it might have moved me in some profound way, but for now, it's not worth hauling in your tote and really should only be read by obligation.

Certain Girls

Once again, I will gush about the wonder that is Weiner. Jennifer Weiner, to be exact, but I guess the other kind has its positives too.

After you've read a couple of Weiner's books, there are certain characteristics and a certain tone that you eventually come to crave, actually being drawn to reading one of her books, knowing nothing other than that she wrote it so it has to be good. Weiner's Good In Bed is what initially sparked my love of her so you can imagine my excitement when I happened to find a sequel: Certain Girls.

Reading Good In Bed first is a must if understanding auxiliary characters is something that is important to you. Otherwise, I think the overall theme and general plot of the book is something a lot of women can relate to, especially mothers and daughters.

Cannie Shapiro I Won't Even Attempt Her Married Last Time, is the very understatement of "helicopter parent," long before that was even a thing. Her now-teenager, Joy, is your typical, American teenager, embarrassed by her mother and critical to everything she says, does, and wears, but is otherwise beautiful, intelligent, and empathetic. When curiosity gets the better of her and she picks up the fiction-based-on-non-fiction novel her mother published shortly after she was born, Joy's life feels turned upside down. While both blaming her mother and dying to know about a part of her mother's past, she sets out in search of it, be damned she's only 13!

What she finds is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Through personal experience and by traveling through her mother's past, Joy learns what makes us all human, not perfect and worth understanding and at least sympathy. She learns things aren't always what they seem and that maybe most dark clouds do have silver linings. And that loving your mother really isn't so terrible after all.

With a certain amount of humor you come across in her other books noticeably absent, the laugh-out-loud moments were few and far between, something that also surprised me with her The Guy Not Taken: Stories. But she touches on some difficult subject with charm, wit, and a healthy dose of sarcasm. It's a good curl-up-with-an-Irish-Coffee kind of book while still making you think - especially as a mother to a daughter - how will I handle her questions to me about my past? It also proved to be a beacon of how my writing might one day affect her. It also made me think about my mother and how she handles my questions about her past. What we all want, when we're Joy at age 13, is to not know our mothers are human. When we're an adult with daughters of our own, what we want to know is that they are human.

A Captain's Duty

This particular story flew onto my radar by way of the thing that controls all of our televisions: The Today Show, which is regrettable for a few reasons: 1) The story of Captain Phillips and his kidnapping by Somali pirates, as documented in his memoir, A Captain's Duty, happened not that long ago in April of 2009 but I was just made aware of it in December 2013; and B) The show was interviewing Tom Hanks about his role in the newly released film as Captain Phillips himself. *shudder* After spending most of The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons wishing someone else had played Robert Langdon, I find it hard to watch a Tom Hanks movie that's not A League of Their Own. So when I heard them discuss the movie, I jumped up to my computer to search for the book. No way there wasn't a book to precede this new Hollywood spectacle. Of course there was a book, and fortunately written by the Captain himself (and Stephan Talty).

I read this in December, long after I had called it quits on the Summer of the Memoir. But after reading several non-fiction, I now consider it one of my favorite genres, and one that I'm inexplicably drawn to. A Captain's Duty did not disappoint.

Phillips is an experienced Merchant Marine with a love and passion for the trade that not everyone shares or understands. He's dealt with his share of ups and downs, crews that wouldn't cooperate or that he had to replace altogether, near-death accidents, and the surprisingly common pirate warnings and seizes. He's learned that remaining calm is the best route to take especially, and which he exemplifies, as he's taken by pirates to use as ransom on the mainland, only heightening his danger as the chance for locating him once on land would be slim to none.

Written with the blunt honesty of a man who spends most of his life at sea, but with an easy-to-understand flow even when it came time to insert all of those blasted Merchant Marine facts and figures, Phillips expertly conveys the waves of emotions during those perilous days at sea. Gripping yet solemn, once Phillips is taken hostage by pirates, the reader can almost imagine him huddled in the life-raft with a pen and paper, documenting every move and breath rather than suffering as he did. Or maybe that is just more comforting for us readers to picture.

The story takes a bit to get going because, as with any book, a certain amount of set-up information is involved. And if you watched any of the news coverage back in 2009, as I didn't because I haven't had cable in a few years, you already know what went down. Was it important is that he lived to tell the tale. And oh what a tale it is, the least we can do is carry it around in our tote and read what actually happened instead of the overblown Hollywood version.

Dark Places

Gillian Flynn does not mess around. When she says she's going to take you to some dark places, boy does she mean it. After finishing Gone Girl, I wasn't sure I'd ever be mentally prepared to step back into the disturbing worlds she seems so hell-bent on creating in such vivid, morbid detail. But I found myself in a bad mood for about a week and was inexplicably drawn to Dark Places, knowing I was only guaranteed an ending, not whether it would be a good one.

Set in both 1985 and present day, Flynn takes us on a mysterious journey of murder, Satan worship, and family drama. Libby is the sole survivor of "The Satan Sacrifice of Kinnakee, Kansas," and to say her emotional scars run deep is a vast understatement. To say her pockets run just as deep is a misconception that leads to her using her story and involvement in the murder as a way to keep afloat a lifestyle she's not all that interested in. But what she inevitably discovers is that what she thought she knew isn't what she knew at all, and that while she was the one person to help convict the killer 25 years ago, she's probably the only one who knows the least about what happened.

Just reading the back book cover and it's no big surprise who the killer is. Or is it? Like Sharp Objects and Gone Girl, the reader goes through the range of emotions of it being obvious who did it but maybe they didn't do it, not having any idea who did it, thinking every character did it, then figuring out who did it and thinking, D'oh! Why didn't I think of that before? But what I most appreciate about Flynn - besides her penchant for going where we're all thinking without holding back - is that, as the reader, we unravel the mystery right along with the main character. Too many mysteries I've read have the protagonist figuring everything out long before the reader is supposed to, and patronizes the reader by making them wait to find out what they know. With Libby, we had the pleasure of the cogs in our brain turning right along with her's, and thankfully only she was subjected to the immediate result.

An incredibly dark story written with zero glints of sunlight, Flynn enlightens the dark places hidden in all of us and what sets them free and what keeps them in check by our morals. She subtly breaks it down to reveal that none of us are very different and that all of us are just a few misunderstandings away from turning into the darkness ourselves. A must-read you won't mind carrying in your tote - or not even have to since it's completely plausible to finish in a weekend - Flynn expertly weaves together what is great about Gone Girl and what is great about Sharp Objects: mystery with just enough creep to keep it intriguing, and horrifying while still maintaining a bit of fantasy. Or at least that's what I tell myself in order to get to sleep at night...

Frozen In Time

I know I routinely tout that there isn't anything I won't read (except that time I refused to read The Girl Who Played with Fire). I'm still disappointed I misplaced The Book of Mormon an Arizona Senator gave me when I was in my early 20's, and I've tried reading the Bible a few times but have never gotten further than the apple. When they find one that reads like a novel, let me know. But it's not like I refuse to read historical non-fiction, it's just that I've never considered it before. Like the Fantasy genre, it has never entered my book-verse. But I read and enjoyed Game of Thrones so I can read Frozen In Time: An Epic Story of Survival and a Modern Quest for Lost Heroes of WWII and enjoy that, too. And I did.

If I were to pick up a historical non-fiction of my own volition, a story about any war would not be it. While incredibly interesting, when it starts to get down to details like airplane types, bomb types, rankings, etc. my brain goes numb. So this book was introduced to me by my friend who agreed to read The Gringo with me if I read this with her, and I have to say, she made a much better choice.

A professor at Boston University, Mitchell Zuckoff embarks on a highly improbable mission to recover downed airplanes in the expanse of Greenland, lead by a man whose sole purpose in life is to recover people and items from the war and return them to US soil. Missions of this exact nature were tried and failed in the past, making government intervention highly unlikely and unstable at best. Without losing hope and with time rapidly closing in before nasty-ER weather smothered Greenland, the crew and Zuckoff, documenting the expedition, reached Greenland with no other option than to find the Duck, a WWII amphibious airplane that disappeared while trying to rescue another crash.

Zuckoff expertly weaves together two enthralling tales: one of the courageous, heroic, and amazing men struggling to survive in half an airplane during a rough Arctic winter (like there's any other kind); the other a modern-day adventure of mystery, intrigue, danger, drama, and suspense as they try to solve the mystery of exactly what happened all those years ago. Although the beginning takes a bit of effort to trudge through thanks to those darn things called "facts" and "information," and given this wouldn't have been my first book choice....ever.... I was surprised to find myself unable to put it down in under 100 pages (if it takes over 100 pages I start to wonder why I'm wasting my time with your book). I even hauled it in my tote across the country to - how ironic is this? - Boston (if I had read the book jacket more closely, I probably would have stalked him while I was in the area).

Written clearly, concisely, and with only a hint of personal feelings about what was happening at any given moment, Zuckoff takes something that could have ended up extremely dry and turned it into something so thrilling that the moment I finished the book, I tweeted him begging to tell me a follow-up was in the works (as far as I know, no; but he did send me the link to his blog).

Finishing this in a weekend would be a little ambitious, there is a lot of information and a lot of things that promote putting it down every few minutes and staring off into space to contemplate. Thanks to this pick, I've added his previous best-seller, Lost in Shangri-La: Escape from a Hidden World - A True Story, which received high-praise from people I take book advice from: my friend and my Uncle.

I'm sure most war-based, historical non-fiction books are interesting but since this is my one and only experience, I'm going to go ahead and recommend you read this one. It's one of the few I've "taken for the team," and read on hard-cover, and I'm glad I did.

The Gringo

I came across this title by way of a virtual goodreads.com friend. I read the description and instantly added it to my list for Summer of the Memoir. Having momentarily fancied the idea of joining the Peace Corps after college then realizing I'd have to leave all of my high heels at home, the subject matter instantly piqued my interest.

Like anyone entering government work, J. Grigsby Crawford jumped head-first into his Peace Corps assignment with grandiose dreams of changing the world, one poverty-stricken village at a time. Initially put-off by the recruitment and training regimen, which used to be difficult but now more closely resembles grade school Field Day, Crawford ultimately follows through and asks for the most popular and widely-known (and most likely to lead to a high-level government job) assignment: remote South America. But upon his arrival, things are off to a very weird, very unpredictable start.

Although the population of the area he was supposed to be helping quickly rebutted him and put his life in danger on numerous occasions, Crawford never lost his desire for the dream. Working tirelessly to do something, he wound up making the most difference (mostly to himself) in only a short amount of time, and spent the rest worrying if he would live from one day to the next. His account isn't exactly what I would call a glowing recommendation for the Peace Corps, or any government-run agency.

As most of us do, I looked up to the Peace Corps as something I'd only ever aspire to be like. I put the organization and the people in it on a pedestal of greatness; stronger, more capable, and fearless than I ever could hope to be. I feel powerless without my high heels. While Crawford lived up to that embodiment, his account of the organization and its members is rather disappointing and frustrating.

An interesting story with twists and turns you don't see coming, The Gringo is more than just a memoir but a tale of survival, idiocy, hopes of changing the world, and just how difficult people can make that be. Written more like a working blog than a memoir, Crawford takes you along for the ride, random observations of human nature and the occasional swear word just in case his mother isn't reading included. He learned a lot during his travels abroad and we learned something from him thanks to his candor and unwillingness to sugar coat his experience. His ultimate feelings about what he was trying to accomplish were quite disappointing, but had it been us, we would have felt a lot worse.

A short, relatively uncomplicated read that flows more like a blog, finishing this in a weekend and/or hauling around in your tote isn't any more difficult than dealing with intense genital pain in the middle of South America.

Twenties Girl

I make no secret of how much I love Sophie Kinsella. Freshly on board the chick-lit train thanks to another one of my faves, Jennifer Weiner, I happened across Confessions of a Shopaholic back when I didn't have a husband or baby and could afford to be a shopaholic myself. Knowing me, really, how could I *not* have picked it up? I had found my literary soul-sister! And to my jubilation, other books with the same character and basic subplot soon followed (find my review of Mini Shopaholic HERE).

When I found other novels of her's - The Undomestic Goddess, Can You Keep A Secret?, Remember Me? - I was hesitant to be introduced to characters that weren't the lovable, relatable, irresistible Becky Bloomwood. Had I indulged my hesitation, I would have missed out on some very remarkable novels.

As much of a book-lover as I am, I don't keep up with the up-to-the-minute literary news. I'm often surprised to learn my favorite authors have many more books than I realized, Kinsella chief among them (and that's not counting the other names she writes under). First published in 2009, I snagged Twenties Girl a few years later as a paperback (can't stand reading hardcover but I'll take one for the team now and again), and included it in my must-read vacation-reads.

Coming off A Dog's Journey, I wanted something fun, frothy, ridiculous, but still incredibly endearing, and I found that all amongst the 400-ish pages of Kinsella's Twenties Girl. A young woman in her twenties, Lara, is befriended by an odd guest at her great-Aunt's funeral with a very interesting demand request. Sucked into a world that is the past amongst the present, Lara and her friend become on odd match against the world but embody the promise that it is not what is outside that matters most, but what is on the inside. And that first impressions can be misleading.

Written with patented Kinsella charm, humor, empathy, and a real investment in the characters, Twenties Girl is a laugh-out-read that makes you wish the ridiculous story she weaves be even partly true. I was almost sad when it was over, wishing the misadventures of Lara and her world would never end. But Kinsella will no doubt create more fantastically interesting characters for me to get wrapped up in and I can't wait. (Remember Me? is calling to me from my bookshelf.)

A Dog's Journey

I love animals but refuse to watch movies where they are the star (Milo & Otis, Homeward Bound, Marley and Me, Babe, etc.). Books are only slightly more tolerable and even then I approach them with extreme trepidation. But after finishing A Dog's Purpose, the pull to finish "Buddy's" story proved too much and I borrowed the sequel, A Dog's Journey from a friend. I still had to build up some emotional stamina, though, and it sat on my end-table for a good month before I even considered picking it up.

Having just come off my Summer of the Memoir, and not in a bury-your-nose-in-a-book kind of mood, I jumped back into fiction with the doozy of them all: Fifty Shades Darker. As my vacation approached, I only wanted to keep things light but still wanted to get A Dog's Journey back to my friend before the end of time. And I DID NOT want to be reading a dog book when I was thousands of miles from my own fur-beasts. I didn't have their comfort when I sobbing through the end of Marley and Me and I wasn't going to let that happen again.

It's a general rule that sequels are never as good as the original and, while enjoyable, A Dog's Journey, easily fell right into that category. True to its name, A Dog's Purpose tells the story of dog trying to find the meaning of his life and answer the question he's sick of asking: when will my purpose have been fulfilled? So, A Dog's Journey is just that: the journey of a dog who discovers his purpose.

In that same vein, A Dog's Journey is more of a story about the people in the dog's life rather than the dog itself, leaving me with the most important lesson of all: don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs.

While not entirely heartbreaking as animal stories tend to be, a great deal of fun was missing from this book that was present in Purpose, and even Marley and Me, and replaced with a certain amount of anxiety, making this more of an emoti-read than it already is by nature. I did, however, manage to hold myself together until the very end.

While the characters, author, and reader got exactly what they wanted by the end, it came with some lingering questions for me. Having read the entirety of all his lives, the things he learned, the people he saved, the work he did, the love and companionship he provided, I still wasn't exactly clear on his purpose, or the reason his journey finally ended. Not to be a spoiler, perhaps it was just as a result of my own dimwittedness.

If you're me and only going to read one dog/animal book this year (although I doubt I'll even do that), I would suggest something other than A Dog's Journey. Its prequel is better, more heartwarming, light, and funny. But if I'm going to be honest and recommend a dog book, it's going to be Marley and Me. And, once again, don't waste your time with the movie.

Wild

After finishing Amanda Knox's Waiting to be Heard, I was in the mood for more female empowerment and picked up Cheryl Strayed's Wild as my second in the Summer of the Memoir. Or, at least, what I thought would be female empowerment.

Don't get me wrong; there is no way I could have done what Strayed did. After the way her hike initially started, I would have bailed before I lost sight of the highway. Her's is a story of a lost woman thrown into yet more upheaval at the death of her mother. Desperate and destined to be alone, Strayed makes every effort to push the people who care about her as far away as possible. Then epitomizes the very definition of being alone by hiking through the wilderness - the Pacific Crest Trail, specifically - refusing any indication of togetherness, camaraderie, or, well, the opportunity to not be alone. But her trip has a purpose: the ever-cliched, "find herself," and rid herself of the demons that possess her to crave her solitary existence. Her's is a story built on the theme of being completely alone, highlighting both the benefits and terrible pitfalls, sometimes literally.

As readers, it's natural for us to place ourselves in the character's position and imagine what we would do, what decisions we'd make, if we were them. Especially if what we're reading is non-fiction. Had I been Strayed, the first thing I would have thought when considering this wilderness endeavor was, "What about all the freaks I'm going to meet along the way?" And then I probably would have scrapped the whole trip altogether. My friend read the book with me and we both wondered why she didn't think to bring a gun among her condoms and other relatively unnecessary items crammed in her pack. But what I ultimately really enjoyed about the story was that she didn't encounter any real freaks. There was the odd-ball here and there, but most everyone restored the human spirit that we'll help someone just because it's the right thing to do.

Strayed's adventure also proved that no matter how meticulous you plan your life or anything in it, it can be shot to shit in a matter of seconds (but anyone who's been pregnant and wanted a pickle only to see it come back 30 minutes later could tell you that). And that, ultimately, in this big, bad, world, no matter how much us humans try to convince each other it's the other way around, Mother Nature is what really rules this beast.

Of course, the story wouldn't have been interesting if everything had gone exactly as it should have. There were ups and downs, literally and figuratively, re-routes, no water where there should have been (I was genuinely scared at that point), misplaced trails (pretty scared during that, too), wild animals, and the ultimate fear and set-back of unpredictability.

I suggested this book as a summer-read to my book club the year before, touting it as a better, not-as-ridiculous option to Eat, Pray, Love, a memoir-turned-movie that was treated as the Bible for women. I thought it was good, but nothing as life-changing as my friends insisted. And I definitely didn't waste time seeing the movie. With that said, I definitely appreciated and enjoyed Wild more than Eat, Pray, Love and found it a lot more relatable even though both stories center around incredibly selfish people with self-destructive tendencies. But who can't relate to that? Perhaps Eat, Pray, Love is geared more towards the older generation, already settled but not wanting to be, while Wild is for those still young, unsure of what roads to take in life but it's either hike alone through the woods or eventually wind up in jail on drug charges.

Well written and succinctly told, Cheryl Strayed's Wild is definitely worth hauling in your tote, and something you'll polish off in a weekend. She takes you on her emotional and physical journey, leaving the reader feel as if they were walking beside her, feet-achingly exhausted but perhaps learning something about themselves along the way.

If you're going to read Strayed's adventure, and I highly recommend that you do, you better get on it as Hollywood has turned it into a movie, out sometime this year. I'm always a proponent of reading the book before seeing the movie (or, more often than not, *instead* of seeing the movie), but in this case I'm particularly worried about the story being made into some thriller-bordering-on-horror flick given the premise of the single, blond, white female in the woods alone. I shudder at the mere thought of what those "creative" types could come up with after the liberties Stanley Kubrick took with The Shining (nope, I'll never get over it). With Reese Witherspoon starring as Strayed, my hope is somewhat restored.

I don't remember if Strayed had decided to write the book of her hike before she embarked on it, or if it was something that came together later, but its existence highlights one major, underlying theme: you are never really alone.

Waiting to be Heard

As the summer of 2013 approached, I came across an article on NPR Books that said this was to be the summer of reading memoirs. I was intrigued with the idea so I did just that, starting with Waiting to be Heard by Amanda Knox. Coincidentally, I picked it up right around the time it was announced they were going to re-try her in Italy for the murder of her British roommate several years ago.

I didn't follow much of the story as it was happening back in 2009, just aware of the minor points. My friend, Meredith (just a horrible coincidence that the victim was also named Meredith), followed the news a little more closely and told me the Italian police were saying it was some sort of sex-game-gone-wrong. My mind couldn't make the connection so I decided the best thing to do was read the story in her own words, what happened moment by moment from the person who was actually there living it. While an amazing story, and amazingly well-written, none of my questions were really answered. As it happened, though, that is the ultimate fault of the story, not the storyteller.

In all honesty, since we know the outcome to present day (closing arguments in the re-trial were completed before the holidays for a verdict early this year), reading this book can be quite difficult. So much so that Meredith (my friend, not the murdered girl) couldn't read it, knowing what she already does about the case. Personally, I couldn't put it down, waiting for that obvious link between mousy-girl-studying-abroad and sex-vixen-who-kills-for-pot.

Written remarkably well and shockingly honest, which became the deciding factor in voting for either this or Jenna Miscavige Hill's Beyond Belief in the goodreads.com awards, my mind boggled at how someone so smart and seemingly capable could be so naive and incredibly stupid. Several times you find yourself exclaiming out loud, "How could you be so stupid?!" And wanting to shake her by the shoulders. Entirely too trusting in foreign government built on hearsay and exaggerations, even as she is being locked up in prison, Knox is sure someone somewhere will realize this has all been a terrible mistake. Not old and experienced enough to understand the political puppet-show behind the scenes and the desperate need for a conviction, she waits....and waits....and waits....for someone to see, hear, and believe her side of the story to the extent that I don't think you could call what she did during her first trial "defending herself."

Convicted and processed in prison in a haze, Knox slowly begins to understand the forces around her and how she is the only one who can really help her. While being in an Italian prison isn't exactly the Four Seasons, Knox continues her education and builds her self-esteem to the extent that surely was a factor in powering her second trial acquittal.

Although the main purpose of this book was for Knox to tell the story in her own words, it also highlighted the incredible failings of a foreign government, particularly those towards their foreigners. This entire story has put a spotlight on the Italian judicial system and raises serious questions about their investigative practices. Particularly, why exactly is it so important Knox be convicted of having some role in the murder, even when scientific evidence proves otherwise? Is it just about saving face and not wanting to admit they were wrong?

Living back in Washington, and going to school to study creative writing, Knox now awaits the fate she's waited for twice already. As many failings as our own government and judicial system might have (*cough* Republicans), Amanda's story makes you thankful you live in the great U S of A. Just don't go to Perugia anytime soon.

The Silver Star

My inaugural book when I first joined the book club was The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and it quickly became one of those books I still talk about and recommend almost five years later. A couple of years ago, still big fans, we picked up her Half Broke Horses, a memoir of her grandmother on her mother's side. Her latest, The Silver Star, is a mix of the two and a tired use of very similar themes.

Taking place in the 70's, the too-long, under-developed story centers around Jean "Bean" Holladay and her older sister, Liz, on their own while their flaky mother chases dreams of Hollywood stardom. Surviving only on pot-pies (which, oddly enough, made me crave a pot pie), their mother Charlotte, doesn't come back after one of her trips so the girls decide to go where their survival might be aided by an adult figure of some responsibility. I'm starting to think that only in a Jeannette Walls novel is young children traveling cross-country alone acceptable - even in the 70's - but I guess I'm just a fuddy-duddy like that.

Making it all the way to Virginia where their uncle has been tending to the once opulent but now decrepit Holladay estate, he hesitantly lets the girls in despite their penchant for causing trouble in the name of good. They soon start a life that is on the verge of normal but couldn't be entirely so since it is Jeannette Walls after all, an author who found the homeless/poor theme and decided to stick with it.

Obviously, one can't fault her for exploring those themes in her first two books as they were memoirs. But with this being her first novel, I had expectations she'd branch out a bit more. Look at Outlander, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter; the imagination knows no bounds! So throughout most of the book I found myself wondering, as an author, why she didn't explore a place she has never been.

I might have been able to overlook that for the most part if the stories and sub-themes had actually been developed and not come to a screeching halt. Every instance of "drama" was shorter than the last with the reader forced to visualize, assume, and do most of the work. Walls created a story that could have gone several different places but chickened out, and was written with a style more suitable to the Young Adult genre. If one thing can be said, Walls expertly wrote from the prospective of a 12-year old.

Others in the book club generally agreed, that The Silver Star was very much been there, done that, got the burlap sack you wore as a dress for a month. We get it.

Obviously, it's no secret this was not one of my favorite books, especially of her's. It's not terrible and might be more appreciated if it was read before her others instead of after. Either way, wait until it hits the bargain bin. It's a short, uncomplicated read, good for reading during a weekend while you're in between better books. Sorry, Ms. Walls; I'll be interested in what you come out with next...

Let Me Off at the Top (My Classy Life and Other Musings) by Ron Burgandy

I first learned of "Ron Burgandy's" Let Me Off at the Top (My Classy Life and Other Musings) from Jon Stewart and his daily "news" show. Since Will Ferrell did the guest spot as Ron Burgandy, my husband and I wondered if it was a real book, or a real book with just a prop cover. We later stumbled upon it in Barnes and Noble so, nope, it's a real book. Naturally, we bought it and I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit it was the last book I read of 2013 and the first book I finished in 2014. A little ashamed that it took me so long to finish, though...

Only being 224 pages and filled with complete nonsense, finishing this book was more difficult than I anticipated. The chapter devoted to the history of Mexico was of particular difficulty. Written with the style reminiscent (since I now refuse to read any of her new books) of Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life and Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea, only with far more "San-Diego-means-Whales-Vagina-in-German," moments, but they both share an affinity for exaggerating and making something sound way more interesting than it is.

The "book" begins with his life in a penis-worshipping off-shoot of the Mormon religion in backwoods, we'll-eat-you-for-the-fun-of-it Iowa where he learns to fight to the death as a means to solve every situation. Growing from a womanizing 12-year old, he becomes the default news anchor of the defunked station and rockets to Legendary status. Who am I to judge, maybe there really is such a thing in the news anchor world.

Obviously, this book isn't the least bit entertaining if you haven't seen the movie Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, or did see it and hated it (how that's possible, I can't even imagine). And since there is very little logic to the structure of the book or even the story, putting it down and coming back a month later wouldn't be the near tragedy as doing that with Game of Thrones. And if there is one thing that powers the book it's that you can't help but read it in Ron Burgandy's voice. In fact, I think that is a must in order to get through the book or it's just way too confusing and ridiculous.

(In case you need a visual aid.)

 

Going in, I didn't expect much so mostly I'm poking fun at a book that is poking fun at everything. I sincerely hope the celebrities lucky enough to grace Ron Burgandy's undercarriage feel privileged and blessed as he is sure they do. But while every sentence that graces your eyes is complete nonsense, a true book-lover appreciates that something like this can't just be slapped together without care. And his spot-on musings of contemporary government are frightfully and hilariously correct so *someone* *somewhere* did actually put some real thought into this.

You'll read it in a weekend, no doubt, and will often find yourself reading parts out-loud to whoever might be near you. And if they can't appreciate good Anchorman, you probably don't want to speak to them anyway. The only thing, Ron Burgandy's "memoir" isn't worth purchasing at full price so I'd wait until it hits the bargain rack, you have a gift card to blow specifically on this book, or you can borrow it from a friend. And, of course, this is one of the few instances where the movie is better than the book.